Parents Via Egg Donation is delighted to partner with Angel LaLiberte PVED’s premier sponsor of PVED’s Parenting after 40 section. Angel founder of A Child After 40 has graciously shared her thoughts, wisdom and resident expert with PVED in regards to motherhood over 40.
Below you will find many links and articles chalked full of amazing and riveting information regarding all facets of those women who are experiencing motherhood after 40. The information we are sharing with you will have you nodding your head and uttering – “Wow I can so relate!” over and over again!
The Truth About Motherhood Over 40
Thinking of motherhood after 40? Have you already conceived and looking forward to being a mother in midlife?
You’re not alone! In 2011, the American Center for Disease Control (CDC) made the startling announcement that the only women to show an increase in fertility for two years running were over the age of 40.
In fact, from 2007 to 2009, in women between 40 and 44, fertility rates rose by 6% and for those between the ages of 45 to 49, rates were up by 17%.
The trend in births after 40 continues to increase. Similar, if not greater, rises have been occurring in other industrialized nations around the world.
Why More Women Are Having Children After 40
The causes of women delaying pregnancy are related to a confluence of cultural forces:
Widespread availability of birth control in the 1960’s. The rise of women’s liberation and freedom to choose education and career—today, about half of the US workforce is made up of women.
Delayed marriage, and the rise in divorce rate of first-time marriages to 50%. Articles:
The Pros and Cons of “Advanced Maternal Age”
Despite enormous cultural changes, mothers over 40 are a still a unique group. Pregnancy, birth and parenting at a later age often involve some tough challenges, as well as unexpected benefits.
Whether or not you are prepared for these can impact the quality of your motherhood journey.
Below, we’ve outlined what’s in store for moms over 40, and some really helpful links to relevant articles, contacts and support from the A Child After 40 archives! You can also check out our free online parenting forums for moms over 40.
The 10 Challenges of Motherhood After 40
1. The Myth of Women’s Fertile 40’s. With so many celebrities getting pregnant and having babies after 40, it’s easy to assume that later conception will be a piece of cake. But many 40+ moms in the limelight are not being up-front about costly reproductive technologies they used to conceive.
The truth is that after 40, women’s fertility declines to about a 5% chance of getting pregnant per month. While the future may look rosy for our daughters, who can now freeze their eggs at college age, we’re still facing diminished fertility due to aging. Articles & Links:
A Child After 40 Fertility Support Forums
AChildAfter40 Debates on CNN: “Kelly Preston Pregnant at 48”
Making A Baby Takes Time: Risks of Delaying Motherhood
What Is Your Real Reproductive Age?
Get Pregnant After 40, Naturally
The Over-40 Mom Fertility Squad
Chinese Medicine Offers Fertile Hope To 40+ Women
Boost Your Fertility Naturally
The Secrets of Conception After 40
Motherhood After 40 Via Donor Eggs
Is 45 Too Old For Donor Eggs?
Do Real Moms Use Donor Eggs?
The Gift That Shook Joanie’s World
Single Mom at 45, Via Sperm Donor
Would You Choose Sperm Donor X?
Surrogacy Shopping After 40
NEWS: ASRM Says Egg Freezing No Longer Experimental
2. Pregnant and Past Your “Use By” Date? Do you think you’re too old to be a pregnant mom? Obviously not. But our prenatal healthcare system labels you as if you are.
Pregnant women over 40 are classified as being of “advanced maternal age” and “high risk”. First-time mothers over 40 are still called “elderly primigravidas”, a term coined back in the 1950’s, as if later pregnancies were an entirely modern phenomenon!
Pregnant, Paranoid and Feeling Past My Use-By Date
Over-40 Moms Train Wrecks Waiting To Happen?
Prenatal Care Scaring The Life Out Of Us?
AChildAfter40 Talks To Access Hollywood’s Laura Saltman
Pregnancy At 45: Jodi’s Story
3. Loss of Independence. After 40+ years, you’re more likely to be set in your ways, used to having your freedom. Having the sudden, and all encompassing, responsibilities of a new baby can strike at the heart of your independence with quite a bang.
4. Menopause and Young Children. Either immediately, or in the next few years, the King Kong of postpartum will meet the Godzilla of peri-menopause.
This can cause a potentially explosive impact between estrogen, progesterone and stress hormones, not-to-mention emotional highs and lows—all at a time when you are coping the high demands of rearing babies or small kids.
5. Less Energy and Vitality. Even with a perfect diet and plenty of exercise, over 40, you’re not going to have the energy to burn the candle at both ends like you did in your 20’s or 30’s. Children are high maintenance and relentlessly demanding at time when it is essential you maintain your physical health, just to keep up.
6. Generation Isolation and Negative Social Bias. The majority of moms you’ll meet up with in the playground, at pre-school and beyond, are ten or more years younger than you, and coming from a different generation. You can feel like a fifth wheel.
In addition to feeling left out, you may find yourself facing stigma, ageism, and outright criticism as you interact with the outside world.
7. Stereotyping: The “Grandma Effect”. Just when you least expect it: you’ll be strolling with your toddler through Barnes & Noble one day and a smiling stranger will stop, smile at your child and say to him: “Are we having a lovely time with grandma today?”
It’s a result of maternal stereotypes of the youthful mother versus the aging crone—and a lesson, frequently painful, in cultural preconceptions.
CNN, Mother’s Day 2011, “Grandma Story”
Don’t Call Me Grandma!
Don’t Call Me Grandma!: Part II
Do You Look This Old At 50?
Good For A Grandma To Give Birth At 61, But Not For A Mom
Why Elton Is Cool When Older Moms Are Not
8. Diminished Support Network. As a new mother over 40, you are less likely to have your parents either alive, or able enough, to help you in raising children. Worse, you may be involved in providing elder care and a toddler simultaneously.
Friends may have different interests now that their children have grown up and you’ll see them less.
Articles & Links:
9. Drain on Financial Resources. The huge costs of assisted reproductive technologies, having and raising children, and the cost of education, will boil down to substituting a family-size SUV for the retirement sailboat.
The minute your kids are born, you’ll be the last in line for monetary handouts from your own bank account.
10. More Families With Singletons. Drawing on financial resources to pay for ART for a first child, can mean facing greater hurdles when it comes to producing a sibling. Aging—along with the enormous costs of another round of ART, donor eggs, or surrogacy—not-to-mention the emotional strain, may prohibit further family building.
The 6 Benefits of Age and Experience
1. Losing the “What If?” Factor. Women who have their children younger often wonder what they might have achieved if they had delayed having children.
Women over 40 have had the opportunity to pursue higher education, career, personal growth and self-discovery. They know where they stand and are ready to dedicate themselves to children and to embrace motherhood.
2. The Riches of Experience. After 40, women are more likely to have more confidence and emotional security, and to have done their research about motherhood. They are less gullible, and not as easily influenced by the immense marketing power of the parenting industry.
3. Benefits to Children. Many women have struggled to become mothers and their gratitude is deeply felt—therefore, their children are entering a life of being cherished and treasured.
According to UK researchers, older mothers tend to be more relaxed parents and almost 85% are married, in stable homes. Their children perform better on verbal and intellectual ability, conceived either naturally or via IVF.
4. Career Clout and Financial Resources. Mothers over 40 are more likely to have executive or management roles and can command significant salaries, as well as sound financial resources built up over the years.
They can better afford to hire the help they need—housekeepers, post-partum doula support, lactation consultants and pre and postnatal support groups.
5. Longer Life Expectancy. The average life expectancy for women is around 80 years, and they are expected to outlive men by up to ten years.
The New England Centenarian Study conducted by Boston University Medical Center recently found that women who give birth after forty were four times more likely to live to 100 or longer than were women who gave birth at younger ages.
6. Benefits To Being Over Fifty. Motherhood after fifty has been described as “the final frontier”. In fact, the notion of women over fifty successfully parenting very young children is hardly new:
- In 2010, over three million grandparents in the U.S. were responsible for raising their grandchildren and few have questioned their fitness for doing so.
- A study conducted at the University of California in 2007 found that women having children after fifty cope just as effectively with the stress of becoming parents as women in their thirties.
- Since most women fifty and older use donor eggs, the risks of chromosomal abnormalities are low.
A 2012 study from the University of Columbia Medical School found that women pregnant at fifty with donor eggs fared just as well as expectant mothers, aged forty-two.
About Angel LaLiberte, Founder of AChildAfter40.com
Following a career in healthcare public relations in the UK and Canada, Angel LaLiberte gave birth to her son at 41 and daughter at 44, after conceiving naturally. In 2009, she moved to California and launched AChildAfter40.com to advocate for, and support, all women on the journey of motherhood after 40. For 4 years, she has written extensively on motherhood after 40—from fertility to retirement—interviewing experts and inviting women to tell their personal stories. Angel’s personal story.. Her professional bio..